hurtful assumptions

I'm away, with kids and I get a text message, out of the blue, saying: "You have fallen low. Blocked access to apple payments". The message is weird and very impersonal.


It seems that my partner had issues paying (for the game!) and immediately assumed that I blocked the card. Why? I have never done anything like that. We have equal access to all the accounts. Well, almost equal as at some point in the past my partner opened her own accounts with a different login to the one we share and I have no access to that. However, all our shared accounts are under the same login to the bank that we didn't change for decades. Anyway, this assumption was like a slap in the face. No amount of explanation was enough to convince her that I had nothing to do with this. Not to mention that I had almost no reception where we were staying.  When we got back home I checked the apple settings and they lost the expiry date on the card. Funny enough this convinced my partner that I indeed blocked it and pretended to fix it. Now, this is unfair and all that, but I'm over this. It doesn't hurt anymore. It only shows me a clearer picture of the person I share my life with. And this is sad. There is no way we will get old together. There can be no friendship where there is no trust.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

suitcases drama

Image
 This is one of those "my life is so ridiculous I don't know how to describe it" notes. Our daughter is going to a camp on Monday. She needs a suitcase to pack. We have a pile of suitcases in the shed so we went there and picked one. Once we brought it home we were told that we were not allowed to use it as it belonged to my partner. We tried another one - the same story. Somehow she owns the suitcases. For me they are family property. Anyone can use them. Even if a neighbour came and asked to borrow one I would not hesitate to let him use whichever he wanted. However our daughter is not allowed. It got to a point when my partner decided to change the code and lock them so no one could use them besides her. This is just silly, like a kid in a sandpit taking his bucket away so others cannot use it. I spent an hour talking about it and no matter what my arguments were I didn't accomplish anything. Even before I got home (this whole situation happened when I was away) I ...
Read more

hard truths

What do you do when your partner tells you that she wants you to kill you? How do you react to such news? How do you recover from it? can you even recover? I'm in a very stable mental zone right now, mostly. Not many things can upset me. I managed to deaden myself so completely that I have no emotions left. I think this allowed me to just shrug this comment and move on. I keep telling myself that this is caused by some mental disorder and what comes from her mouth is not really true. I know I lie to myself. The sheer volume of poison dripping from each and every sentence is staggering. I do not remember a single sentence that was normal and didn't contain a side remark or some cruelty.  I think I went too far trying to protect myself from the negativity and I'm so emotionally dead that I have no will to live my life any more. I have no goals, no desires, and just go through my everyday motions, as best I can, but there is not much joy in it. I try to stay cheerful for our d...
Read more

keyboard light

Recently I got in trouble for leaving my light up keyboard turned on in the room next to our bedroom. The keyboard is not directly visible, as the computer is around a corner, but apparently glows enough to make a wall in the leaving room too bright to sleep. As you can imagine the actual light that filters to the bedroom it barely visible but for some people this is a problem. A problem or a reason for a complaint and argument. Of course I can turn it off, not a big deal, but what make this situation slightly insane is that when I go to bed, my partner usually still watches TV, which is situated in the same room as the mentioned keyboard. With the difference that the TV is clearly visible from the bedroom and casts enough light there that I could read a book (I'm stretching it here a bit). And it is loud. My way of dealing with this is sleeping with headphones and my head under the pillow. I'm coping. 
Read more