suitcases drama

 This is one of those "my life is so ridiculous I don't know how to describe it" notes. Our daughter is going to a camp on Monday. She needs a suitcase to pack. We have a pile of suitcases in the shed so we went there and picked one. Once we brought it home we were told that we were not allowed to use it as it belonged to my partner. We tried another one - the same story. Somehow she owns the suitcases. For me they are family property. Anyone can use them. Even if a neighbour came and asked to borrow one I would not hesitate to let him use whichever he wanted. However our daughter is not allowed. It got to a point when my partner decided to change the code and lock them so no one could use them besides her. This is just silly, like a kid in a sandpit taking his bucket away so others cannot use it. I spent an hour talking about it and no matter what my arguments were I didn't accomplish anything. Even before I got home (this whole situation happened when I was away) I got a text message saying that I will need to kill her to get what I wanted. First of all this is not what I WANT. This is what our daughter needs. I was even told that I can go to a shop and buy her a new one. How crazy is that? She uses this to push our daughter to apologise for something. She cannot explain what she wants the apology for and she rejected a more generic apology that she got. Our kid is not the kind of person who will fake apologise just to get what she wants so this is a stale mate.

This is yet another case of my partner "owning" things exclusively. I was told many times that I wasn't allowed to use some cups or things in the house because they were hers. Being an adult I just bought something that I needed and moved on. A simple and usually cheap solution to buy a coffee cup, for instance, and avoid fights. A funny thing is nothing stops her from using my replacements for things I wasn't allowed to use. I do not mind but it shows the weirdness of the situation.

I'm pretty sure my partner doesn't really know what she wants the apology for. She just have a feeling that she was hurt and expects others to fix that. For her it doesn't matter that she raged for hours and called every one names and swore. This is justified and doesn't need an apology but something that someone said when she was acting crazy does. And we need to guess what it was. I have a recording of the whole argument  and I asked her if she can point to something I or our daughter said that was so hurtful. She is not interested in doing that. She is not interested in trying to solve it and teach us what we did wrong.






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