hard truths
What do you do when your partner tells you that she wants you to kill you? How do you react to such news? How do you recover from it? can you even recover? I'm in a very stable mental zone right now, mostly. Not many things can upset me. I managed to deaden myself so completely that I have no emotions left. I think this allowed me to just shrug this comment and move on. I keep telling myself that this is caused by some mental disorder and what comes from her mouth is not really true. I know I lie to myself. The sheer volume of poison dripping from each and every sentence is staggering. I do not remember a single sentence that was normal and didn't contain a side remark or some cruelty. I think I went too far trying to protect myself from the negativity and I'm so emotionally dead that I have no will to live my life any more. I have no goals, no desires, and just go through my everyday motions, as best I can, but there is not much joy in it. I try to stay cheerful for our d...